Frog on a lilypad
Believe it or not, I successfully completed my math course. I am now ready, according to the tests to move on the round 2. For some reason, completion of this course makes me feel like I can accomplish anything academically. It shouldn’t, but it does.
So, that brings us up to today. I’m in another math course, and hopefully my last math course in this semester. It’s kind of scary, but my other courses are what’s keeping me back in school.
After day one on my lab and photography class, I am really really excited about school. These are the classes that I feel like I have been looking for for a long long time. My lab instructor is a commercial photographer, and my photography instructor does people. They have their program geared to working in this business. They talk about networking, and speaking to others even if you are nervous because that is what is going to get you jobs. It’s exciting.
Academically, I feel wonderful. I’m excited, going and pushing forward. Socially, I’m stagnate. I don’t feel like I have many friends anymore, and the few that have stuck around I don’t nourish the friendships like I should. I’m quite content being with myself, and being at home. How bad is this? I’m not sure. I’m staying at home because it’s hot, and because I want to be here. It’s not like before where I was scared to leave. It’s not that at all. So, friends? I’m just feeling stuck on the subject. In therapy I learned that it’s hard for people with depression to keep friends sometimes. That others feel like they have been brushed off and aren’t important. I guess it’s right to an extent. It’s unintentional really. I don’t mean to not want to do anything, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with this person or that person. It’s mostly my desire to want not to socialize. Stuck. I want friends, I LOVE all of my friends, but I’ve noticed that when I do call, no one calls back, or when there is a gathering no one comes up to me. So, while I may still love them, they’ve moved on obviously thinking that I have too…. but I haven’t. It’s sad really.